Bring it on.

I have learned that you really don't know how much your cup can hold until you're screaming, "When, when! WHEN!" and the juice keeps flowing and you look around and realize you've only spilled a few drops here and there. Or maybe there are more than a few drops, but nobody seems to mind but you.

Living with my husband was its own brand of difficult. Leaving him behind in our sweet little house in Snohomish with my kids crying themselves to sleep at night was another. I learned a lot living "on my own" (as alone as you get with five children). I became stronger, wiser, more confident. I found myself. It was a terrible way to have to go about it. Lesson learned. Self found. Husband is back in my arms.

Telling my family and friends that I was reuniting with my ex was a whole new brand of difficult I didn't plan on. Besides being a very spiritual experience for me, it was another confidence builder.

But we couldn't just live happily ever after; that would be too easy. Cue the rebellious teenager angry at her yo-yo parents. Can't say I blame her. That has been (still is) a white-knuckle ride.

And of course, Ben lost his job and he lost his unemployment. His worker's comp claim isn't going so well either. And his health is crap. But he's home every day for our kids and helps me out tons with all of the places the kids need to be. I hardly ever cook anymore. Plus he's using this as an opportunity to build his own business--something he's always wanted to do.

I got a new job! Which is awesome. Right? Except that there were definite blessings in having a low-key, boring, flexible job. And now instead of working part-time and going to school and raising a family, I'm working full-time and going to school and raising a family. And the job is crazy busy--as in, I want to pull my hair out or cry or run into the street screaming nearly every day because of the stress. (I'm working on finding better coping methods, by the way.) I'm learning lots and gaining substantial experience, and I finally get paid for holidays. :)

In November I passed the one-year mark of being Primary president in my ward (translation from Mormon lingo: children's program leader for my congregation). I love those kids so much. Honestly, I'd rather sit in the Primary room and hear J tell us off-topic stories about lava pits and sharks, and whisper to L (again) to please put her dress down, and help Z say the opening prayer, than just show up to church and listen to adult teachers. However, it's sometimes hard to feel like I don't really get a day off because even the Day of Rest...isn't.

I'm struggling with my typing class. Most of my teachers have been great. This typing teacher didn't make that list. The class was mislabeled as "hybrid," meaning part in-class and part online. I found out the second day of class that "hybrid" in this case means part in-class and part in the on-campus lab. Lame. I don't have time to come in during the week to type on their special software! Why didn't the college catalog just say that from the beginning? The bright side is that after March 12, all I have left is the rest of my typing class. Graduation is in June. GRADUATION is in JUNE! Yay!!!!

Graduation is the big day. It's more than just the end of school. It marks the end of an era of stressful living. I'm a little worried that I'm banking too much on it. What if it comes and life hands me yet another brand of stress? Anyway, I'm trying not to think about that. I'm just tucking it away in the back of my mind so I'm not knocked off guard when life isn't roses beginning July 1.

Also, my job grants me the entire month of July off. I can't wait!

There's always something to look forward to, so bring it on.